True Self and False Self

Friday 28 August 2026  Realigned with the True Self

Father Richard teaches that true religion leads us to an experience of our true self and undermines our false self:

The true self is who you are because of the divine indwelling, the Holy Spirit within you (Romans 8:9). We are all temples of God, says Paul (1 Corinthians 3:16). What happened in Christ, the Anointed One, is an announcement of what is happening in all of us, too. We are children of heaven and earth, both at the same time. Much of the work of enlightenment is bringing those two identities together, just as Jesus did.

Putting the human and the divine together is what it means to be “the Christ” (Colossians 1:17–20), and what it means for us to be “the new Adam [and Eve]” (1 Corinthians 15:45–49). Ephesians could not make it much clearer: “You too have been stamped with the seal of the Holy Spirit that was promised—this is the pledge of your inheritance” (1:13–14). Few Christians have ever been seriously taught about their inherent union with God and will find all kinds of self-hating reasons to deny it. Only the true self can dare to believe the gospel’s good news.

The false self is characterized by separateness. Jewish and Christian traditions call this state of disconnectedness “sin.” When we’re separated from our deepest being, we are in a state of sin or alienation. When we are disconnected from our true self in God, we look for various false and addictive ways to fill our emptiness. The small or false self is who we think we are, but our thinking does not make it so. It is our identity created through culture, education, class, race, friends, gender, clothes, and money. That’s all that Adam and Eve had once they left the garden where they walked with God. But let’s not feel too bad for them or even guilty ourselves. It seems that we have to leave the garden. We have to create a false self to get started; the trouble is that we take it far too seriously. It is always passing away—in stages and then all at once at death. Only the true self is eternal. We all suffer from a terrible case of mistaken identity.

The true self is characterized by communion and deep contentment. It’s okay, right here, right now. The true self is the realigned self; and religion’s main purpose is to lead us to experience this self, which is who we are in God and who God is in us. It has to do with participating in a Universal Being that is beyond our being. Ultimately, our lives are not about us. We are about life! That doesn’t mean we stay in the true self twenty-four hours a day. Life is three steps forward and two steps backward. Yet once we know the big picture, we will never be satisfied with the little picture.

Adapted from Richard Rohr, “True Self, False Self,” Radical Grace 25, no. 4, (2012): 39, 40, 41.

Thursday 27 August 2026  The Glory of God in Us

Father Richard first encountered the concept of the true self and false self from the Trappist monk Thomas Merton (1915–1968), who had a mystical experience on the corners of Fourth and Walnut (now Fourth and Muhammed Ali Boulevard) in Louisville, Kentucky. Merton wrote:

At the center of our being is a point of nothingness which is untouched by sin and by illusion, a point of pure truth, a point or spark which belongs entirely to God, which is never at our disposal, from which God disposes of our lives, which is inaccessible to the fantasies of our own mind or the brutalities of our own will. This little point of nothingness and of absolute poverty is the pure glory of God in us. It is so to speak [God’s] name written in us, as our poverty, as our indigence, as our dependence, as our [birthright]. It is like a pure diamond, blazing with the invisible light of heaven. It is in everybody, and if we could see it we would see these billions of points of light coming together in the face and blaze of a sun that would make all the darkness and cruelty of life vanish completely…. I have no program for this seeing. It is only given. But the gate of heaven is everywhere. [1]

Father Richard reflects:

Most people spend their entire lives living up to the mental self-images of who they think they are, instead of living in the primal “I” that is already good in God’s eyes. But all we can “pay back” to God or others or ourselves is who we really are. This is what Merton is describing above. It’s a place of utter simplicity. Perhaps we don’t want to go there because it is too simple and almost too natural. It feels utterly unadorned. There’s nothing to congratulate myself for. I can’t prove any worth, much less superiority. There I am naked and poor. After years of posturing and projecting, it will at first feel like nothing.

But when we are nothing, we are in a fine position to receive everything from God. As Merton says, our point of nothingness is “the pure glory of God in us.” If we look at the great religious traditions, we see they all use similar words to point in the same direction. The Franciscan word is “poverty.” The Carmelite word is nada or “nothingness.” The Buddhists speak of “emptiness.” Jesus speaks of being “poor in spirit” in his very first beatitude (Matthew 5:3).

A Zen master would call the true self “the face we had before we were born.” Paul would call it who we are “in Christ, hidden in God” (Colossians 3:3). It is who we are before we’ve done anything right or anything wrong, before we even have a conscious thought about who we are. Thinking creates the separate self, the ego self, the insecure self. The God-given contemplative mind, on the other hand, recognizes the God self, the Christ self, the true self of abundance and deep inner security.

Wednesday 26 August 2026  The True Seed Within

The words, “not I, but Christ” urged me to come home to myself more fully, to the petaled truth buried deep within.
—Sue Monk Kidd, When the Heart Waits

The author Sue Monk Kidd reflects on her midlife discovery of the concept of the true self:

Over and over again God calls you and me … to the cultivation of what Meister Eckhart called the “true seed” within us. God calls us to tend what lies seeded in the soul, this kernel of our truest nature—the God-image or True Self….

Throughout our lives we create patterns of living that obscure this identity. We heap on the darkness, constructing a variety of false selves. We become adept at playing games, wearing masks as if life were a masquerade party. This can go on for a long while. But eventually the music of the True Self seeks us out. Sooner or later (often in midlife), we’re summoned back to the garden. We’re called to soul-work….

The soul wants to be acknowledged and nurtured. The True Self wants to bloom and grow. And the way to begin this spiritual flowering is to confront your false selves—the ego patterns you have created—and come home to who you really are inside.

Monk Kidd compares soul work to the art of whittling:

The art of soulmaking is taking our lives in our hands and—with all the love and discernment we can muster—gently whittling away the parts that don’t resemble the True Self. In spiritual whittling, though, we don’t discard the shavings. Transformation happens not by rejecting these parts of ourselves but by gathering them up and integrating them. Through this process we reach a new wholeness.

Spiritual whittling is an encounter with Mystery, waiting, the silence of inner places—all those things most folks no longer have time for. I’ll be honest. As I began my own spiritual whittling, I often clung to my “block of wood” resistantly. After all, wasn’t I fine just as I was?…

But there were also days when I felt drawn to try, when I yearned to discover how I was living falsely….

The writings of Thomas Merton encouraged me. He envisioned much of the spiritual life as whittling away the false self in order to become the True Self. He called the struggle for authenticity a “contemplative crisis” and insisted that no one can avoid it, that eventually we all “get the treatment.” According to Merton, “One’s actual self may be far from ‘real,’ since it may be profoundly alienated from one’s own deep spiritual identity. To reach one’s ‘real self’ one must, in fact, be delivered from that illusory and false ‘self’ whom we have created.” [1]

How real am I, I asked myself. What are the illusions I’ve created? What false selves do I need to pare away? Those are the whittling questions. Taken seriously, they’re tough and agonizing. “We are not very good at recognizing illusions, least of all the ones we cherish about ourselves,” wrote Merton. [2]

[1] Thomas Merton, The New Man (Farrar, Straus & Giroux, 1961), 63.

[2] Thomas Merton, New Seeds of Contemplation (New Directions, 1961), 34.

Sue Monk Kidd, When the Heart Waits: Spiritual Direction for Life’s Sacred Questions (HarperCollins, 2006), 47, 49–50.

Tuesday 25 August 2026  Releasing Our False Self

Richard Rohr appreciates the purpose the false or egoic self serves, while encouraging us not over-identify with it. 

Our false self is not our bad self, our inherently deceitful self, the self that God does not like or we should not like. Actually, our false self is quite good and necessary as far as it goes. It just does not go far enough, and it often poses and substitutes for the real thing. That is its only problem, and that is why we call it “false.” Various false selves (temporary costumes) are necessary to get us all started, but they show their limitations when they stay around too long. If a person keeps growing, their various false selves usually die in exposure to greater light.

Our false self, which we might also call our small or separate self, is our launching pad: our body image, our job, our education, our clothes, our money, our success, and so on. These are the functional trappings of ego that we all use to get us through an ordinary day. However, they are largely projections of our self-image and our attachment to it.

When we are able to move beyond our false self—as we are invited to do over the course of our lives—it will feel precisely as if we have lost nothing. While this “moving beyond” almost always entails some suffering, it ultimately feels like freedom and liberation. When we are connected to the Whole, it lessens our need to protect or defend the mere parts. We no longer need to compare and compete. We are now connected to something inexhaustible.

To not let go of our false self at the right time and in the right way is precisely what it means to be stuck, trapped, and addicted to our self. (The traditional word for that was sin, the result of being separate from the Whole.) Discovering the true self is not just a matter of chronological age. Some spiritually precocious young people see through the false self rather early, while some old men and old women are still dressing it up. If all we have at the end of our life is our separate or false self, there will not be much to eternalize. These costumes are transitory and impermanent, useful to us in our development, but also largely created by the mental ego. The false self is what changes, passes, and dies when we die. Only our true self lives forever.

Before we have encountered our true self, our false self is who we think we are. But our thinking does not make it true. The false self is primarily a social construct to get us started on life’s journey. It is a set of agreements made during childhood with our parents, family, neighbors, school friends, partner or spouse, and religion. Jesus might call it an “old wineskin,” which he points out cannot hold any new wine (Mark 2:22).

Monday 24 August 2026  Recognizing Our True Self

Father Richard describes the characteristics and purposes of the true self in greater depth:

Searching for and rediscovering the true self is the fundamentum, the essential task that will gradually open us to receiving love from and giving love to God, others, and ourselves. We are created in the image of God from the very beginning (Genesis 1:26–27).

You and I (and every other created thing) begin with a unique divine DNA, an inner destiny as it were, an absolute core that knows the truth about our being. This true believer is tucked away in the cellar of our being, an imago Dei that begs to be allowed, to be fulfilled, and to show itself. “You were chosen in Christ before the world was made—to stand before God in love—marked out beforehand as fully adopted sons and daughters” (see Ephesians 1:4–5). This is the true self. Historically, it was often called “the soul.”

Jesus revealed and accepted a paradox in his entire being: Human and divine are not separate, but one! His life shouted it. I wonder why we so resist our same destiny. For most of us, this seems just too good and too dangerous to be true. There is so much contrary evidence! Many clergy fight me on this, even though it is quite constant in the Tradition. Is it because we are afraid to bear the burden of divinity? As Marianne Williamson says: “Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” [1] Maybe we realize subconsciously that if we really believed that we are temples of God (see 1 Corinthians 3:16, 6:19; 2 Corinthians 6:16), then we would have to live up to it.

The true self is the Divine Indwelling, the Holy Spirit within us. I would say that the true self is precisely the divine part of us that is great enough, deep enough, gracious enough to fully accept the human part of us. If we are merely human, we will tend to reject our embarrassingly limited humanity. Think on that!

Paradoxically, immense humility, not arrogance, characterizes someone who lives from their true self. They simultaneously know they are a child of God, but they also know that they didn’t earn it and are not worthy of it. They know it’s entirely a gift (see Ephesians 2:8–9 and throughout the Pauline writings). All they can do is thank Somebody Else, occasionally weep with joy, and kneel without any hesitation.

The true purpose of mature religion is to lead us to ever new experiences of our true self. If religion does not do this, it is junk religion. Every sacrament, every Bible story, every church service, every sermon, every hymn, every bit of priesthood, ministry, or liturgy is for one purpose: to allow us to experience our true self—who we are in God and who God is in us—and to live a generous life from that Infinite Source.

[1] Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”  (HarperCollins, 1992), 190.

[2] Adapted from Richard Rohr, Essential Teachings on Love, selected by Joelle Chase and Judith Traeger (Orbis Books, 2018), 71–72. 

Sunday 23 August 2026   Discovering God Within

Father Richard Rohr encourages us to look within to discover our true self, the presence of God within us:

We are all looking for something utterly reliable, something loyal and true, something we can always depend on. In John’s very short second letter in the New Testament, the writer offers us an invitation to discover what we are looking for when he writes of “the truth that lives within us that will be with us forever” (2 John 2). Most of us know little about this truth, so we end up as St. Augustine admits in his Confessions: “Late have I loved you, Beauty so very ancient and so ever new. Late have I loved you! You were within, but I was without.” [1]

We are right to go inside; otherwise, we become lost in an outer and revolving hall of mirrors, as Augustine confesses above. But the question is, “Which inside?” I use the language of the true self and the false self, which many have found quite helpful in talking about this concept. [2] It is good and necessary to pull back into our true self, but it is quite a disaster if we pull back into our egoic or false self for too long (or, worse, never leave it). The confusion comes because both true self and false self feel like our “self.” One might be called truly “centering,” while the other is the more common “ego centering.” This reveals the core of the problem. Jesus and most other great spiritual teachers make it very clear that there is a self that has to be found and one that has to be let go of or even “renounced” (Mark 8:35; Matthew 10:39, 16:25; Luke 9:24; John 12:25).

We might call the true self our soul, and we might call the false self our ego, our small or separate self. In finding our true self, we will have found an absolute reference point that is both utterly within us and utterly beyond us at the very same time. This grounds the soul in big and reliable truth. “My deepest me is God!” St. Catherine of Genoa shouted as she ran through the streets of town, just as Colossians had already shouted to both Jews and pagans, “The mystery is Christ within you—your hope of Glory!” (1:27).

Once discovered, the healthy inner authority of the true self can be balanced with the outer authority of Scripture and Tradition. Our experience can be validated by others’ experience. That’s what assures us that we are grounded in reality, not a fantasy. That God is both utterly beyond us and yet totally within us at the same time is the exquisite balance that most religion seldom achieves, in my opinion.